Dissapear

God, I dont know what I am doing anymore. It seems as though every which turn I can take will lead to more problems and drama. At least that is what is said, one turn I doubt, and the other everyone doubts. Is there no relief from this torure that is life? Now my quest turns back to where it began, I want to run away, run away from all of my problems, everyone tells me that that is not going to solve anything that all it is going to do is make everyone heartbroken. I dont want to break anyones hearts but it feels as though staying will just break their hearts more.

I want to turn off my phone, delete my e-mail account, my blog accounts, my username for everything I am part of. I want to completely dissapear from everyones lives and never return. I want to remember that knowlege that the greif will only last a short amount of time. Someone once said something very wise to me. When people look at a photograh the one face they go to first and go back to the most is their own. At first it will matter but just like loosing a loved one they will soon all but forget I was even part of their lives. That is how life is, people tell me they will miss me if I left, even die if I left them. No, no they wont, they will take one look and say, "well he was stupid." Or maybe, "Why did you leave Jeremy?" There may be tears but it will not last, only a week, maybe a month if I really meant something to them, but after that I shall be but a passing thought. I wonder what has happened to Jeremy? There will be no quest or hunt to find me like is seen in movies, there will be no life long grieving like read in books. Only that passing thought.

I will dissapear when you least expect, and you wont care, I can assure you.