Sinking

"Why are you so depressed all the time? Everytime I walk away from you I feel like hanging myself."

I have those days I guess, where everything seems dark and numb, where things seem so distant and cold and dry. The pain of things seem to be spread about so much that I can hardly feel them. But then again, the only place I can feel when I feel this way is my heart. My heart is on fire while the rest of my body is a numbing cold. I feel like my heart is decaying and bleeding in my chest as it burns.

Sinking
Lower and Lower
My heart settles
into an abyss
a firey shock
and a numbing cold
My mind and body
float in darkness
while my heart slowely
eats away by icy fire

It all seems surreal sometimes, everything around me, as if I am dreaming it and nothing is actually happening, that soon I will wake up with the sun in my eyes. But I know its real because I can feel the heavy bag weighing on my heart as it pushes down harder and harder. It becomes more difficult to breath, a struggle persay, maybe my heart is blocking the airway, and the bag is pushing the air out. Harder and harder for air to come in. And soon amoung this dream I get the urge to bleed, to feel. And maybe die, die so it will end. But I know not to, the time will come when I stop feeling this way.