Sleepless

So many things were said yesterday. So many things about my future this summer. So many things that were clear in my mind have mutated into a jumble of questions. I asked myself over and over again wondering, thinking, imagining, what will I do? What could happen? What have I become to think this way? And what was I to question my every action? I spoke to her about what was priorly said, I said it as if it were a funny thing. And yet inside this one thing is a tick always there. And the way she took it was.... surprising, and yet not at the same time. She is always so positive, so thoughtful, so enchoraging. And yet at the same time she is realistic, smart, and kind. How does she pull off perfection in such a manner. Where her choices are always right it seems, she doesnt seem to know but she is so smart about things, things that would take me forever to think about only take her a moment to respond. "Poor innocent Jeremy." Came before the comment, "I finally said, we'll see".

One more sleepless night, and there will be more to follow.