Letter

I wrote you a letter last night, in the cold while I floated in the chair, there was everything. How I felt, how I truely felt. I've lied to everyone, even myself. I do everything to convince myself that you are not good for me, not what I want, not what I need. I find other people and try to attach myself to them, it never works, I always come back. I try not to think about you, I really do. It doesnt work. I wanted to give you this letter, so many things that would be hard to take in, I suppose that is why I did not give it to you, I am afraid, I have always been afraid of failing, of loosing, of not being good enough, I've been so afraid that I couldnt see past my own nose, I could not see my chance, and I feel like its lost, like there is no chance anymore.

I.... I hope there is.