New month

The six month has come to an end, like every sunny day. Its the first now as I sit in this dark morning. Another month of joys and sorrows where life is lived, loved, and lost. July, the long awaited. Hopes, dreams, and choices have all come down to this month. The month that contains the week, that contains the day, that I see my love again. The one that I was with for so long. And without for so much longer, the Hell has almost ended and the joy of joys is soon to come.

So the questions start comeing, the doubts, perhaps I am no longer what she wants. Or worse yet, as impossible as it seems, what if she is not what I want. I ask these questions with the second one in mind. The only one who has ever made me angery. What if she is the one for me? But I already know that answer. While I was away in the desert state my thoughts stayed on one girl and that was my german princess, my first love, and the one person I can see myself spending the rest of my life with.

I am sitting in my room, it is late, and I am tired, but I cannot remove my fingers from these keys, they call to me. Maybe I am waiting for something to happen. I suppose as of late all I have been doing is waiting, I have no control anymore, I have let loose the reigns and I am hoping someone else will catch them and save me. Maybe that is why death seems so easy and life seems so hard, I am no longer in control, and I am waiting. Things will work. I only have 26 more days to wait.