Disapointed

I guess nothing can cure this feeling of being alone. Sometimes it can be pushed away, but never completely gone. I have never felt so alone as when she came and it wasnt cured, the only thing that kept me going before was hope, hope for something that was comeing. It was foolish to think that the grass would be greener. But really, what is wrong with thinking that? It is optimistic and it did give me hope. But on the other hand dissapointment is so much more bitter than anything else. I am so dissapointed in my own ability to love anymore. Dissapionted with my lack of faith in what everyone tells me is real. I am dissapointed in the fact that I have lost all hope of things getting better. I do want to run away, but I am afraid of dissapointment again. Will I ever stop being dissapointed? The drugs are finally starting to kick in again, soon I wont be able to feel the soft tears rolling down my cheek.